Sunday, January 24, 2010

Hate is Easy, Love Takes Courage.

This quote is so insanely true. I have realized that a lot lately. I have used this quote several times over the last couple months. At first, I just used it because I thought it was a good quotes. I never really thought about the true meaning behind it. Then I really looked at the quote and gave myself time to understand it.

I have struggled within myself to get over things that have really hurt me, and I am showing myself every day that even though in the past, I messed up, I made mistakes, I hurt myself and the people I care about; I am a good person. I can't let what others think of me, impact me anymore. I need to be a good person for me. No one else but me. Everything I have done, been a part of, said, etc etc; has been totally and 100% my fault. No ones but mine. I am solely responsible for my actions.

I am the person that sometimes repeatedly needs to learn from her mistakes. But I am getting a lot better at it. I have realized that things that I have messed up on in the past, can help me out in the future. If I look back on previous mistakes and learn from them and apply them in the future, then I won't have to deal with the same bad things happening again. You need to try to learn from your mistakes from the past and in the future, use better judgment in the future.

I have found that it doesn't matter how many people tell you that you are negative, full of drama, anger, etc etc. If you don't want to change that lifestyle about yourself then you aren't changing it. You will not leave any place you are unless you want to be somewhere else. Once you realize that you need to make a change in your life, you alone are the only person that can do that for yourself. Sometimes these changes are gradual or rapid.

I am learning to forgive myself and others for bad things that have happened lately. I am learning that it is easy to say bad things about people, think badly about myself. It's not easy to not pass judgments. And it's definitely not easier to give chances out. But a part of making myself a better person, is improving my "people" skills. I don't have to be friends with everyone, I don't have to hang out with people who have hurt me, or done bad things to me. But that also means that I don't have to hate them or think/talk badly about them. They are in a different place than I am. I am out of that part of my life. I don't like feeling bad about myself and putting down others to feel bad. I like being happy and having a good time and loving the person I am. And it's taken me a while to see it, but I am glad that I have seen the light and am improving my ways.

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