Tuesday, February 2, 2010

One of my heroes.

So I've been chatting with my mother in law through text messaging for the last couple hours. I miss her a lot. I'm really looking forward to her upcoming visit to Jacksonville. We are trying to figure out a way for her to stay a few extra weeks. With everything she's been through in the last 6 or so months, I think she needs a little time away to relax. And we all miss her so and have been worried about her.

Talking with her reminds me of how lucky I am. I have a very supportive family who loves me regardless of my faults and mistakes. During my chat with her, I've been telling her all the progress I have made getting rid of my negative side and staying positive even through the bad days. And her responses just make me want to strive to do more. My mother in law is definitely up there on my list of heroes. She is easily one of the strongest people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and knowing. She is such a loving, caring and passionate person. She has such a love for life and she has lead a great life from what she has told me so far. She also knows what it truly means to live each day as if it was your last. My mother in law is sick with terminal cancer. Has been for a long time. Knowing in my heart that her and I have clashed before, hurts me to the core. Because I could have said something so horrifically mean to her and something bad could have happened to her and never had the chance to take it back. My mother in law taught me how to show my emotions, not to bottle them up. I don't even think she knows she taught me it. She is so fiercely protective of her family that she will stop at no means to defend them. And I love that about her. She's a no bullshit person, she will tell you exactly how the hell is is. I have never met someone with as strong of a will to live as her. She is a true fighter. And she has had her bad times and has been negative but she tries to hold on to the positive. With everything that is going on in her life, she still always asks how her grand babies are doing and how Ryan and I are doing. She is amazing with the kids too. Loves all of her grand children with ever fiber of her being.

It is sitting here on my couch while I am insanely sore from working out, and having an amazing chat with her, that makes me know that I will become a better person. I want her to be proud of me and to know that I have tried to make every day count in my life just like she has in hers.

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