Why is it that problems, assumptions and stupid arguments can completely hinder a possible great friendship? Why is it that they destroy existing friendships? I recently have made a few awesome friendships here in New York and have allowed myself to open myself up to people. I have found a lot of inner peace since I have been up here. I don't really care about things that have gone on in the last few years in Florida anymore. It has definitely been quite a lesson. I wish I didn't have to go through the stuff I had been through or seen, but in the same sense I am glad that I have the ability to rise up above it, learn new things, learn what kind of people to associate myself with, and find out how truly strong I am.
Unless you truly go through events that test your will, strength, determination, and your love; I don't think you quite know literally how strong you are, how much emotional and physical pain you can take before you snap. I think it's the best way to truly learn who you are as a person, what you want and need in life and who was truly there for you all along, no matter what. Granted I wish people didn't have to go through painful times to become more observant and wise but because that is what I have experienced, for me it was the best way for me to learn all about myself.
I hope that I will continue to grow as a person and learn more and more about myself. Along with growing as a person, I hope that I can help people who are going through things that are similar to my situation or try to grow in general. It's such a nice feeling to be completely at peace with yourself. One of the biggest changes I have noticed so far is that because the majority of the time I have happy and positive, I have not been sick, I have barely been stressed, I don't get angry pretty much at all, I have completely stopped caring about the bullshit I used to care about. I don't involve myself in the stupid drama I was wrapped up in from this time last year until a few months ago with everything that was going on. I was so over-taken with wanting to seek revenge for me being hurt that I completely forgot who I was.
I have realized that the only people I need in my life need me in their lives. I don't need to change who I am to make people like me. I don't have to dwell on gossip or drama or get drunk every day of every weekend to keep friendships alive. I don't have to be friends with every one my friends are friends with. I can have my own friends, just like they can have their own friends. I don't need people telling me what to do, I am a big girl now, thanks though! I also have realized that people who keep living in the past, will remain in the past. They won't grow and learn and change their negative ways. That's not healthy for the person or any relationship.