Thursday, April 29, 2010


I had a moment earlier today. The negative beast that took over my body for a long time last year came back to haunt me. Thankfully a nice talk with a friend snapped me back to where I needed to be. 

I got some really bad news today. Some things that have happened in the last 2 years were told somehow to a person that it is very very bad if this person knows some of the things that have happened. Even though nothing came of any of it, just the thought that this person now knows, I don't know. Something snapped inside me and I flipped out. I don't try to dwell on the events that have unfolded in my life. I don't think about them because I am in a much better place now. But knowing that this horrible stuff is in their hands could potentially make things a lot worse then they have been. I got scared, I got angry, I was hurt. Again. And when those thoughts and the fact that it was out hit me, I let the beast take over for a little while. 
But now that I am in better control of my self and my range of moods, I don't feel so angry. It has me worried but I've faced worse in my life so I'm not terribly concerned. Especially because I have been able to talk with some friends and get some insight from them. I know I shouldn't worry as much as I do sometimes, but if you were in my situation, you probably would too. I just need to learn to have a better hold on my moods when things go bad. I can't let myself get out of control when I get too pissed off or anything.

2 readers thoughts:

Mikayla Lee said...

holy shit! what happened babe?

Erica said...

I will call you tomorrow and tell you about it babe!