So we are 1 month and 5 days down so far on the deployment. Saying it like that makes it sound like a long time. But it's nothing, nothing at all. Since I have been home, I have learned that I can do this. I can be away from him no matter how much it tears me apart inside every day. I can be happy without him here. I can enjoy having all the time in the world with my kids and my family. I can be a supportive wife even though he is thousands of miles away from me. I can love him more every day than I ever thought possible. He is my inspiration. He has made the biggest sacrifice to take care of us and our country. This is my first deployment and already I feel like I have conquered it. I miss him every second, every hour, every day. That won't ever change. But just because he's gone and I'm home, doesn't mean that I took the easy route. Cause I didn't. Moving home, to my parents house after years of living on my own is tough. Living with 4 other people is not easy. Not having our stuff around us and just have the necessities isn't easy. But I have some of the best support here.
Just starting my job the other day has made things even better. All of the people I have met that I work with so far are so supportive and inquisitive about military life and constantly have something to ask me. It's really fun being able to talk about all the positive things about the life that I live. The company that owns the store I work at sends out care packages to the employees spouses or family members who are deployed. When my General Manager heard that Ryan is deployed he gave me a paper to fill out and a little questionnaire asking what things he likes and stuff. They send boxes with $100 worth of goodies from the store. I was so excited that I filled it out immediately. They said it takes about 3 weeks for the whole process to be complete and then how long it takes for the Navy to go through it and send it out. So hopefully he should be receiving it around Father's Day. Along with the HUGE package the kids and I are putting together for him for his holiday.<3
When I drove out of Florida into Georgia, I left my Florida problems there. I haven't looked back on them since. There is only so much one person can handle at one time. Saying good bye to my husband and my amazing friends was probably one of the hardest things I have had to do. But saying good bye to the problems was the easiest. I fortunately have learned over the last year that it's not healthy to keep all your problems and feelings bottled up. I much prefer to sit back and reflect and then write about it. Since I have been in New York, there has been many issues with people that I care about a lot who are sick or who have gotten hurt. It's a sobering reality check that life isn't always easy. I've cried many times and I'm not that person that just cries when bad things happen. I've been overwhelmed with how frequent it seems that these problems seem to pop up one right after another.